you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
