I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
