Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
