Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
