Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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