She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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