at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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