can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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