My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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