WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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