In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dick very happy bro
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
