guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
