All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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