I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
