Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
