I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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