I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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