This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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