I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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