We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
