You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
