so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize