Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
