1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
