My friends, they love my intelligence
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize