she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
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sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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