Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
