i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
