it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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