Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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