Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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