you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
