lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize