found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this just has baby written all over it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
