We won't sleep together?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
