You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
