I murdered the dance floor call the cops
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
