is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Less talking, more tequila
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
