Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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