maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
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I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sext me about skeletons
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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