I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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