Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
