I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
