College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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