there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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