So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
