I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
