thus making me awesome and them whores
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
