i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
