I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
