Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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