i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
