Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
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Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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