i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
