I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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