1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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