Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
