wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So vagazzling was a success
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
