Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
bring money and cleavage
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
