Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
