dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
